Het ‘onderzoek’ over mannen van 40

De korte stukken die je zo gaat lezen, zijn kleine interviews afgenomen door Fatherly. Fatherly had 40 mannen van 40 jaar gevraagd een korte beschrijving te geven over hoe zij de 40 hebben ervaren of hoe zij erin staan om 40 jaar te worden. Een aantal mannen gaan goed met hun leeftijd om, terwijl anderen wel hier en daar moeite hebben met hun leeftijd. Wij hebben tien mannen voor je op een rijtje gezet:

1 Ik voel me voldaan

“For the first time in my life, I feel like I can look back on what I’ve done in life and feel accomplished and satisfied. I’ve got a family. I’ve got my own business. I have friends. I’m a good person. These definitely aren’t the life goals I imagined in my 20s, but they’re the most fulfilling parts of my adult life, by far. When you’re young, you keep this imaginary checklist of all the things you want by the time you’re 40. Big house. Lots of money. Fancy car. All that. My list now feels a lot more real and meaningful, I’m happy to say.” – Bradley, 39, Ohio

2 Ik blame het op de midlife crisis

“I’m not sure how long I’ll get away with it, but I can’t wait to start blaming my midlife crisis on all the stupid sh*t I do. I bet my wife will indulge me for a few months or so before she calls bullsh*t, but I’ve always wanted a sports car and a pinball machine in the basement. I’m not sure why a midlife crisis entitles me to these things, but I’m looking forward to asking for forgiveness rather than permission for once.” – Jeff, 38, California

10 mannen vertellen hoe het voelt om 40 jaar te zijn

3 Ik ga een hond kopen

“I’m a little embarrassed to say that it took me until I turned 40 to feel responsible enough for a dog, but it’s true. I’m not married, not really dating, but I have a house, a big yard, and the time to spend with it. I’ve always wanted a dog, but was always afraid it would tie me down. Who am I kidding? I was just looking for an excuse to be selfish. I’ve got my name and applications in at several adoption places, and I can’t wait to find a buddy to spend my midlife years with. It’ll be the best thing for both of us.” – Terry, 40, Washington

4 Ik kan nog steeds feesten zoals eerst

“I’m amazed to say that I can still party like I did when I was young, even if the opportunities are few and far between. I’m married and we have two kids, so there aren’t really that many chances to let loose. But, on those rare occasions, I’ve still been able to power through and come out the next day feeling like a million bucks. I’m not sure if it’s something worth celebrating, because I’m definitely far removed from that phase of my life. But it’s still a badge of honor I’m happy to wear at 40, and one less thing to worry about for now.” – Mark, 40, California

5 Ik voel me gemotiveerd

“I think it’s partly because I’m terrified of hitting middle age, but I also feel like I have a lot more energy than I did a few years ago. Maybe not ‘more’ energy, but definitely a different kind of energy. I feel like, as I turn 40, I’ve got the combination of knowledge, confidence, and experience to really start to make things happen. I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished so far, but I really do feel like my best days are still ahead. Thinking back to my 20s and 30s, I can’t ever imagine myself saying that, so it’s pretty cool.” – Shawn, 39, Oregon

6 Ik leef meer ‘opzettelijk’

“When I was 35, I started trying to live my life with more purpose. I’m not sure how to elaborate on that, other than to say I tried not to waste time when I made plans, decisions, or steps forward. I wasn’t reckless, but I didn’t waste time fretting over stuff I couldn’t control which, for years and years, kept me from doing a lot. As I’m turning 40, I realize how much control I have over the pace at which I live my life. That’s not to say it’s always, ‘Go! Go! Go!’ But it’s a much more realistic approach to wasted time becoming a huge potential regret in the future.” – Jay, 39, Virginia

7 Ik ben eindelijk goed in “nee” zeggen

“Someone told me a while ago that ‘No’ is a complete sentence. What she meant was that you can say it without having to follow up with any sort of reason, justification, or attempt to explain yourself. I heard that for the first time about five years ago, and I think I’m finally good at it. It took a lot of practice, over many years, but now I’m able to use it tactfully, respectfully, and confidently to keep my priorities in order. More often than not, people are impressed by it. They’re like, ‘Wow. I didn’t know you could do that. Can I steal that?’” – Jerry, 40, New Jersey

8 Ik heb minder geduld voor bullsh*t

“I’m about to turn 40, and I’m proud of how many people I’ve cut off from my life. That sounds harsh, but let me explain. At our age, it’s time to figure out who’s good for you, and who’s bad for you. And I’m talking about those supporting characters you ‘sort of’ know who really do more harm than good, even if it’s unintentional. Time is so precious when you’re this old, and you can’t waste it on people who suck your life away. The coworker who constantly complains. All the social media braggarts and phonies. I’m proud of myself for being able to recognize them, and even more proud for having the spine to stop engaging with them before it wastes any more of my time.” – Stephen, 39, Maryland

10 mannen vertellen hoe het voelt om 40 jaar te zijn

9 Ik stel het “examen” uit

“This is silly, but the main thing on my mind about turning 40 is how terrified I am of my prostate exam. I have no rational reason to be scared, but I think the notion of the physical exam, combined with what it could reveal, combined with the sort of unofficial ‘Welcome to 40’ notification that it sends is all just weighing on my mind way, way more than it should. I’ve never heard any horror stories, nor do I have any reason to be nervous. But, hey, you asked.” – Gene, 39, New Hampshire

10 Ik dacht dat ik meer geld had dan ik eigenlijk heb

“Not ‘poor’, per se. But, I definitely thought I would have a lot more money than I do as I’ve entered my 40s. I’ve done well for myself, but I’ve never really had an opportunity to save the way I thought I would. I’m not living paycheck-to-paycheck, but I’m not sitting on a big nest egg either. It’s all going back to student loans, car payments, bills and, as of a few years ago, divorce lawyers. I guess I just didn’t correctly anticipate the nature of those expenses when I was a wide-eyed 20-year-old, planning my future.” – Erik, 41, Virginia

Zoals je kunt lezen heft iedereen zijn eigen unieke perspectief op het worden van 40. Wie weet valt de angst die je hebt wel heel erg mee. Wil je nu misschien toch meer weten over een midlifecrisis? Lees hier over de gemiddelde leeftijd voor mannen die een midlifecrisis tegemoet gaan.